I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
