You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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