Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
