It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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