you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
