Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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