I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
