Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
