dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
