Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I think my vagina is haunted
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
