Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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