LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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