My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
