We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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