my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My penis needs a shock collar
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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