i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
