You were right. It hurts to walk today.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
