It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
