can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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