I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
