That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
