Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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