Buhtt sex?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
