is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
