Having a random hookup so left but love u
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
