I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
