everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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