you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
this hospital has no fireball
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
