he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
