Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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