That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
