what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just had sex on a roof
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
