Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
