dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
