Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
