: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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