I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
