aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
