when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
