I'm going to rape someone's good day.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
