I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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