Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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