Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
