Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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