hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
