that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
