But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
