who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
