I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
