I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Randomize
